憶奇斯洛夫斯基

今年的三月十三日，是奇斯洛夫斯基逝世十周年的日子。

十年，彷彿只是一剎那的光景。十年裡，兜兜轉轉做過很多工作，也換了很多遍人生理想，對事情的看法，已經和十年前變了一個樣，但對於奇斯洛夫斯基的電影，卻依然鍾情。而且，此情只有增無減。

已忘記了是在哪一年首次碰上他。那時候，日子過得天昏地暗，因為大部分時間都是躲在大學裡那間冷氣很猛的A814放映室，或旁邊非常狹小的preview room裡，「煲」電影。我記得，那時曾多次重看《情誡》（A Short Film about Love），而每一次都會隨著戲裡的小郵務員Tomek，一起經歷著純真的心靈如何逐漸被殘酷的現實所毁，很刺痛的感覺。

我也記得自己曾到灣仔新華戲院看《兩生花》。當時，故事看得不太明白，但是布偶戲那一場，卻令我異常感動，一直看一直流淚。後來，讀到奇斯洛夫斯基的自傳《Kieslowski on Kieslowski》談這電影的段落，他如此寫道：

We had seen a fragment of a puppet show on tv which was fascinating...（the puppeteer) was Bruce Schwartz.

He wasn't working with puppets any more because he couldn't make a living out of them...What has this moronic world we live in come to? A man who's the best in the world in his profession can't make a living out of it, because this profession only consists of moving puppets. He had to give it up and now hangs paintings.

He had all the puppets we needed. He suggested a story with a butterfly in it, because he had a puppet butterfly...It was extremely moving... When we finished shooting, the children immediately surrounded him and I saw a happy man.

He came and suddenly rediscovered a past, a joy or happiness which he'd once had in the past and which he'd lost. With our film, it returned for a while. That's terribly important.(.pp. 180~182)
我很愛布偶，但沒見過有哪一齣電影把布偶拍得如此優美動人。然而奇斯洛夫斯基的話，卻比布偶更加感動我。當時的我常覺得，拍電影是累人的工作。青春不斷燃燒，只為了拍好一個個鏡頭，於是不期然問：到底是人重要還是電影重要？

奇斯洛夫斯基認為最重要的是令得布偶師重拾生命的熱情。畢竟人才最重要。這本自傳，是我人生的十本好書之一。他的文字（他是用英語回答訪問者的），有時比他的影像更感動我。